Life isn't all ha ha hee hee by Meera Syal (Anchor Books)
Meera Syal is a British actor and writer whose parents came from India. She was born in Wolverhampton and grew up in the small town of Essington in Staffordshire. Her family was the only Asian family in the area and she uses this experience as a backdrop to her 1999 novel Life isn’t all ha ha hee hee which was also adapted into a three-part television mini-series in 2005.
The story centers around three childhood friends who continue to have a strong bond as adults in their thirties living in London. They are Chila, Sunita, and Tania. Sunita is the oldest of the three. She dropped out of university and married her psychotherapist Akash and has two kids. Tania is an ambitious career woman working in television who speaks her mind and doesn’t think much of her Punjabi roots and currently lives with her Caucasion boyfriend, Martin. Chila is the youngest of the three and is just getting married to one of the most eligible bachelors and the man of her dreams - Deepak Sharma.
Deepak used to be a ladie’s man and has a long history of having many girlfriends, including Tania. His family is happy that he has chosen a nice Punjabi girl and not one of the blondes he used to flaunt when he was younger, however, things get complicated when Tania makes a film about the love lives of ordinary Indian people, mostly using her friends and not exactly showing them in the best light. The premiere is a success but has unforeseen consequences.
The bonds of friendship are rattled when Tania and Deepak share a passionate kiss after having an argument at the film’s premiere. They are seen by Chila, Sunita, and Martin. Martin soon leaves Tania. Chila and Sunita no longer speak to Tania but Chila refuses to bring up the matter with Deepak and Deepak takes no responsibility for his actions.
Although Tania’s film was successful and critically acclaimed, it’s consequences were not just relegated to her close friends but to the Indian community as well. The new production company which hired her wants her to make similar films but Tania no longer wants to make movies about “her people”. In order to appease her colleagues, she tries to get an interview with Jasbinder Singh, a woman whose husband wouldn’t grant her a divorce and doused himself and their children with gasoline and lit himself on fire in front of her.
Chila gives birth to a son but refuses to let her husband see him. By chance, Tania meets up with her two friends in the hospital and the three reform their bond as Deepak makes a surprise appearance and Chila’s son is nowhere to be found!
Syal gives us an interesting insight into the immigrant experience of how three modern day Indian women live with one foot in London while the other remains in the tradition of their Punjabi roots. All three women want to live independent and happy lives but they try their hardest to find a balance between where they want to be and where their husbands and relatives think they should be.
The lives of these three women may be the same for a number of women who find themselves in the same situation where the man believes he is the head of the household and what he says is law as they all try to find a balance in pleasing their husbands and boyfriends but not at the cost of their own happiness. Men should take notes and learn to respect women and not treat their wives or girlfriends like second-class citizens. ~Ernie Hoyt